A bit of me 5 – Some questions answered

For this 5th part of the “a bit of me” posts, as promised, I answer some questions you might have for me. These questions were written for me, hence why some questions follow up on each other. If you want to know anything, you are free to ask them in the comments and I will answer them. The first part are 10 personal questions, the second are 10 dance-related questions. Now I am back off to bed, as I am still not fully restored yet.

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Personal

1. What is your name?
   • My name is Aleksander Dovganyuk-Krym. Yes, it’s a hyphenated surname. It’s a combination of the surnames of my mom and dad, it’s my official surname.
2. Where are you from?
   • I’m from Szczecin, Poland. Although, I was born in Polotsk, Belarus.
3. Why don’t you live in Belarus anymore?
   • I don’t come from a stable background. My biological father was a bad man. My biological mom fled with me and my biological sisters across the border a few years ago, trying to get away from my biological father forever.
4. Based on your answers, you were adopted?
   • Yes, I am. Me and my sisters lost our biological mom here in Poland, the stress, hurt, and guilt became too much for her. My younger biological sister got adopted by a different family, but I see her on a daily basis. Their family decided to move to the same city as us after learning about how we were taken apart. Together with my older biological sister, I was adopted by the same parents.
5. Could you tell a bit about your (adoptive) family?
   • Besides of my biological siblings, I have 2 older brothers, 2 younger brothers, and 2 younger sisters. My younger sisters and 1 of my younger brothers are still babies, they are a triplet. I love all of my siblings, both biological and adoptive. I also love both my parents, just like I will always love my biological mom. My parents don’t deny me keeping to my biological connections, including my own interest of my home country. I would say my family is very open and respectful to each other, even though we are all from different origins. Only the babies are not adopted, the rest of us all are. Which is also one of the reasons we are probably so close to each other, as we don’t see any one of us as more or less, including the babies. I think it helps that even when our parents are busy with the babies, each of us has someone we can always talk to because of the amount we are. I usually really rely on my eldest brother Vladislav for things, while my younger brother Ilya relies a lot more. We are really close as siblings.
6. How would you describe your living location?
   • I think the question would be “is your family rich?” if it could be asked, as I have heard many people try to find indirect ways of asking. We live large, if you truly wish to know it in that way. But in a really open way, which I know will cause my parents to be thrown to the wolves in a way, but I would say we are a rich family. All of us go to private schools, which will already say a lot to many. Similarly, when friends come over, they also always state the fact that we live “laaaaaaarge!” to them.
7. A common stereotype about boy dancers is their love interests, what is the case for you?
   • I am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend, we spend literally daily time with each other, even during the past days that I was ill. The stereotype is certainly not true for me. How I got taught, you will learn to find yourself, only you will know your true colors. Others are not supposed to judge you for how you are, only God judges the heart.
8. Is it right to assume you’re religious?
   • Yes. I come from a Christopagan upbringing by my biological parents, but was converted to Judaism by one of the Jewish communities here in Poland. The reason why I don’t share which is that I am raised with Karaite Jewish beliefs by my parents, which is at times regarded as controversial by some Jews. My parents are both ethnic Karaites. The choice of my religious upbringing is my own, my parents are really open in us choosing our own beliefs, including religion. My eldest brother is a devout Christian, for example.
9. If you could name just 1 song, what would be your favorite?
   • New Lands by Ronan Hardiman
10. What’s your favorite country?
    • Sweden.
      I have been in countries like Moldova, Ukraine (Odesa region), Turkey, Germany, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Czechia, and France. Each has their own unique features that make them special. Sweden just has most features that I love, like the nice people and beautiful landscape.

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Dancing

1. How did you discover your love for dance?
   • When I was a lot younger than now, my biological mom signed me up for balllroom dance classes. I was really shy, hid and kept myself on the background, so to speak. The longer I kept going, the more I noticed how much I loved it. There’s not much downtalking of girls to boys in dancing, at least the girls that I know. This has been really good for me, as it made me more self-confident, which I wasn’t previously.
2. What are your thoughts on boys in dance?
   • I would say that me writing this blog kind of tells most of it already. However, I will reveal something that I didn’t tell yet, which is that I don’t believe all boys that are boy dancers should be. I remember some documentaries from the USA that claimed to be about fighting the stereotypes about boy dancers, featuring young boy dancers. I expected something good, but instead it was really a mix that left me feeling a bit sick after. The ones making the documentaries were supposedly involved with dancing, like the dance teachers and choreographers or something along those lines, but they made the boys wear dresses and things like that. I don’t understand how anyone can believe that breaks the stereotypes, they make it only worse. Sincerely, if you are only adding to the stereotypes by making fun of dancing as a boy dancer, I don’t think you should be dancing.
3. How does dance make you feel?
   • Dance makes me feel alive. It’s the best way of describing it.
4. How has dance improved your physical fitness and overall well-being?
   • Dance has significantly improved my physical fitness by enhancing my endurance, flexibility, and strength. And my overall well-being by bringing confidence, which has in return boost my mood and reduced stress.
5. How has your family supported your passion for dance?
   • They attend my performances, encourage my practice, and cheer me on every step of the way. My mom and dad even take me to other countries to compete in dance competitions, as well as see performances of some famous names in dance, primarily ballroom and ballet.
6. Do you have a favorite dance quote that resonates with you?
   • A quote by famous, or even legendary, American dancer and choreographer Martha Graham, “Dance is the hidden language of the soul.”
7. How do you manage stage fright or nervousness before a performance?
   • To manage my nerves, I focus on my preparation, practice deep breathing exercises, and remind myself of the joy that dancing brings. It helps me stay calm and confident.
8. What are your thoughts on dance and gender roles?
   • Personally, I don’t think some things will ever change. As much as I am for diversity and equality, I think certain gender roles in dance are needed if you want the dance to hold the same value. A major problem is that a lot of the fight has to do with feminism, with people believing that females are seen as less in dance. However, truthfully, if you are male, you will quickly notice it’s the literal opposite. A lot of girls and women don’t even realize this, but there are often literally no dressing rooms for male dancers. And another problem, especially typical to the USA and ballet, is not even clothing adjusted for boys in dance performances, as they would be required to be uniquely made, unlike is the case for the girl clothing, as simply a lot more girls dance. Girls are literally treated better in dance most of the times, you just have less chance of succeeding because there are so many girls, and almost no boys. By taking away the gender roles, as is happening already, you are only making this problem worse over time, also making less and less boys dance. It’s in opposition of the goal of gender equality. Dancing doesn’t need feminism, and it has benefit of the gender roles.
9. How can we make the dance community more inclusive for everyone?
   • By taking away stereotypes, as well as political goals. The last question is such an example. It has nothing to do with dance, just with personal intentions of succeeding at dance why people want to get rid of the gender roles. That way, when a female doesn’t succeed for a typical female dance role, they can go for the male part. That does not have to be bad, if it wasn’t so much about just getting rid of males in dancing. Even with the gender roles, a female could in fact dance a male part already. There’s nothing wrong with that. There are certainly female dancers who can do that. The opposite on the other hand is a far bigger problem, especially as it increases the stigma boy dancers already have. I intend to write a full blog post about this soon, but the greatest stereotype while being a boy dancer is that you are a sissy that wears dresses. Take away the gender roles and there is no way for any boy to go against that anymore. I know I would quit dancing whenever that happens. As much as I like dancing, it’s a huge struggle for a boy to dance. There’s so much discrimination when it comes to dance that many people are unaware of, like when it comes to race, weight, and disability as well. Most fights claimed to be about increasing inclusivity are rather decreasing inclusivity, that’s a reality that many forget to realize. I think that is the main way to make the dance community more inclusive, by acceptance of everyone, not about taking apart the current structure, as most people do now.
10. What’s your favorite dance style?
    • Being primarily a ballroom dancer, my obvious answer would be Latin dance, specifically the tango. I have a strong preference for partner dances, so a good pas de deux in ballet is what I love as well.