The constant faking of having autism / being autistic

It’s something I just don’t understand: people wanting to have autism. It’s strange, kind of crazy even. But not something new. Faking illnesses and disorders date back probably longer than I can even imagine due to my young age. The earliest instance I can think of is the faking of zilianOP, who was a Twitch streamer that claimed to be wheelchair-bound until he stood up during a stream, forgetting he was on camera.

However, the problem has only spread. On TikTok, we have millions of videos of people faking disorders like Tourette’s, while claiming it is to increase awareness. In fact, by faking Tourette’s, they are, much rather, making awareness dwindle and people’s understanding of Tourette’s only decrease. The only redeeming factor is that anyone who truly knows Tourette’s would be able to see through this instantly. That obvious are they, revealing the insincerity of their claims.

But then there’s autism, or rather the autism spectrum disorder. It’s something that is also used to fake a disorder, in extreme amounts even. If you look through Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, or any other social media platform, you will see them. And a lot of them are really easy to spot, as they confirm to have self-diagnosed themselves, something that is called online as self-DX. Even at my age, I know that when you say that, you are wrong on so many levels.

Autism, or more officially, autism spectrum disorder, is a medical condition that can only be diagnosed by a psychologist. It’s specifically a neurological condition. And like any medical condition, it’s something that a professional, who studied many years to get it right, diagnoses. If a professional says you don’t have autism, then you don’t have it. There’s nothing more to it, as self-diagnosis doesn’t exist; it’s just plain unacceptable.

So, why does this matter to me? I am someone who is on the spectrum.

When I was younger, I received the diagnosis of childhood disintegrative disorder, which was one of the pervasive developmental disorders that now falls under the umbrella of autism spectrum disorder. If you were to look it up, you would probably find the Spectrum News article that calls it the “most terrifying childhood condition,” which it can be. However, regular classic autism can be just as challenging, as it’s very similar to classic autism once it fully sets in.

What I mean by “fully sets in” is one of the aspects that made childhood disintegrative disorder different from classic autism. Symptoms were less visible or even invisible in the early years and then suddenly became very severe, with this transformation occurring before the age of 10, but after the age of 4.

I don’t have the attention span to actually read the Spectrum News article, but an important reason why people consider childhood disintegrative disorder so severe is that the severity of symptoms differs from autistic disorder. For example, there’s a significant focus on anxiety as a symptom, and problems related to sensory processing are far more severe, to the point where they could be described as extremely so.

The reason why I speak in more of a third-person tone is the fact that I have since been rediagnosed, due to an external factor. While it’s believed that all forms of autism are caused by genetic disorders, most are still unknown. One of the known ones applies to me, as I was diagnosed with a genetic condition. Not something to be proud of, especially with the knowledge that my younger sister has the same genetic disorder. I know the already known consequences of our genetic condition, so I am worried.

And at this point, you might be wondering why I am even telling you this. Well, one of the things that self-DXers claim is that getting a normal autism diagnosis from a psychologist tends to be hard, which isn’t true at all. In most countries, your family doctor can give you a referral to visit a psychologist for a diagnosis, with this not even being needed at all in quite some countries, and you can just make an appointment with a psychologist directly. It’s not that hard. I know because I went through it three times.

But this is why some people go a step further; they just claim to be diagnosed with autism. Simple… right? It’s not actually. One of the easiest things is to find the holes in those stories, like by asking about their psychological report. For clarity, a diagnosis is not found on a paper that says “diagnosis” or anything like that, but in a psychological report. Within such a report, you will find a lot of information about yourself written by the psychologist, like the things you told them, but also the results of the tests done, a summary of what was found, and advice. Attached to them are also the results of every test specifically. My psychologist included in her writing a compliment that I was a sweet and caring boy. ^-^

There’s no list of diagnoses, at least not in mine. While this is one of the claims fakers make. My diagnosis was just stated as part of the text and found in the specific results of the tests, as you can see here, which is translated to English by Google Lens, as I don’t live in an English-speaking country:

Still, the thing is, most people don’t realize this. I know because I am autistic and can just look into my psychological report.

Anyhow, the greatest problem is the fact that the fakers impact negatively on those who are truly autistic.

A lot of people seem to believe that there are a lot of “benefits” of being autistic. However, I have never experienced this personally. Maybe it’s because of my age or being somewhat unaware, I wouldn’t be able to answer this. But when it comes to any benefits I can think of, the only one I have is that at school my teachers are more protective of me. This happens to be great as I am a dancer, as people can’t say offensive stereotypical things about it, but that is also kind of it.

But at the very same time, the negatives caused by the fakers are what I do notice. It’s like people tend to be surprised by my silence.

Let’s be clear here, this is very common for people with the former diagnoses of autistic disorder and childhood disintegrative disorder. There are those, like one of my brothers, who don’t talk at all, which is called being non-verbal. Differences in language development are very notable on the autism spectrum, especially in the part of the spectrum where I am located.

In my case, the best way to explain the reason for my silence is both a fear of saying something wrong, as well as just not really caring to talk with others. Like this is literally a day of chatting with my best friend online through the Discord platform:

That’s a typical chat between us, with me having to mention that we play a video game together, hence certain texts. Also, she’s several years older than me, which is why I call her “big sis,” even though she’s not family. Either way, it’s all straight to the point, no pleasantries. It’s what we both like, as she also struggles with social interaction and communication. However, if I were to do this with some of my other contacts and friends, they would get angry. They basically expect me to say “how are you?” and stuff like that, while I can’t say I really care about it. Most people answer “fine, and you?” repeatedly, instead of just being honest, so why should I do this?

That’s also the truth of autism, at least for me. I state it in my Twitter/X bio because I know otherwise people will end up annoyed by the way I respond, but that’s all, really. I struggle every day not with how I act myself, but how people respond to me.

And that’s one of the negatives the fakers cause, as people simply don’t understand that being the silent little mouse that I am, it’s something that is perfectly normal, especially when you’re autistic. I am not ashamed of it, as I know it is how I am.

There are a lot more examples I could give that fakers often don’t notice and how they can cause negativity. For instance:

• I don’t make eye contact when I am not feeling well, am stressed, or among people I don’t know or don’t like. I do make eye contact with those I like and trust, unless I am sad or angry.
• I don’t use a lot of the language that people expect at my age. I hardly ever use slang, as an example. And my emoji usage is limited to “^-^”, “:-)”, “:-(“, and that is basically it. I know there are more emojis, but I’m aware that I use them incorrectly; people don’t hesitate to let me know.
• I take things overly literally. I don’t understand jokes, and it’s hard for me to interact with my friends because of it. I can sometimes see things as offensive when they really are not. I get angry at them when I shouldn’t, and I’ve even lost friends over it. That’s also why social media isn’t a good place for me, and I have the support of my mom and dad because I know that if someone accidentally says something wrong, I can explode just because I didn’t notice until someone explains that I understood it incorrectly.
  For the other blog I publish for, Calmth Music, I literally have someone who manages all contact for me. Otherwise, I would have messed things up with our sponsors many times already, as they can be overly harsh, and I might have gotten angry. Yeah, I clearly have no experience there… (Clearly, I do…)
• I don’t like to be touched. It’s not like it hurts, but it does make me feel uncomfortable. That’s also why I have a very close relationship with my dance partner. She’s lesbian, so don’t misunderstand, but she knows she can trust me 100% as that’s what I do for her. The only others that are allowed to touch me are my parents, siblings, dance teacher, and some of my close friends. Beyond that, I will literally scream if anyone touches me. It’s automatic; I don’t even think before I already hear myself scream.
• I can’t process a lot of information at the same time. For example, if 2 or more people speak to me, my mind basically shuts down. No information gets through anymore. I hear people speak but can no longer understand what is being said. It’s hard to properly explain this to someone who has never experienced it. It’s not the same as hearing someone speak a foreign language and not understanding, nor is it like hearing white noise. It’s… I don’t know… It’s weird, I guess. There’s nothing that really comes close to it that I can think of. My mind basically just wanders off while my body is still hearing that something is being said; that’s the best explanation I can give.

There is probably more, but this is what I know about myself. The negative aspects of each of these are rather simple, but they can all be managed. Those around me know to give me time when I don’t feel well, to avoid being too touchy, and to ensure that I have actually heard what is said, or to help me out if I need to do something.

But due to all the fakers, people who believe they know about autism due to them but have never met me before, think all of these aspects are very different. It’s like how people believe that if I am autistic, I don’t make eye contact at all. Or if they touch me, that it would feel like they hurt me. Maybe there are those on the spectrum who do experience it in the way as the fakers claim, but I really don’t know. I have literally never heard of anyone else I know who is autistic having these exact experiences, and I have three brothers and a dad who are all autistic too. Well, my older brother Anton has fragile X syndrome with autistic-like behavior, but it is counted as autism, similar to me, so I consider it as autism since he does have the diagnosis.

And let me be real with all of you readers, my brothers’ and dad’s symptoms are in some regards different, but in most ways the same. When it comes to the whole idea of a so-called “autistic community,” which is mostly an idea of the fakers, it sounds truly horrible to me. I mean no disrespect to any other autistic people, but I have at times had enough of myself, let alone other autistic people. The only reason why I can get along with my family is that each of them has some aspect that is great to me.

It’s like my older brother Anton’s inability/unwillingness to speak is a great benefit for me because when I feel bad, I know I can go to him and be comforted without judgment. Or at least not what he speaks out or even shows. I know he has an intellectual disability, but he acts like a true older brother regardless. Even during the times when I make him angry with my hyperactivity, as I trigger his sensitivities a lot of times, I am very much aware of it.

While the best aspect of my little brother Ilya is his knowledge. He is incredibly smart. He’s like a human Wikipedia. He reads something once and remembers it, which I won’t deny I envy a bit at times. However, I also realize that this is very hard for him at times. Still, I can’t deny that having a little brother who is smart is really awesome because we are actually on an equal level at home, even though he is younger than I am. He doesn’t talk down to me, like my eldest brother does at times, nor does he talk up to me as some of his friends do. I dislike that. I don’t like overly polite behavior.

As for my eldest brother Vladislav and my dad, they both have the same aspect that I think is awesome, which is their caring nature. When I see my dad on social media, I know there are likely people who believe it is fake, only for social media, but no. Each of us knows that our dad would literally adopt an entire orphanage if it weren’t for our mom stopping him, making him aware of the reality, like the finances. The same is the case with my eldest brother; he loves helping people a lot. His post on the SnowCalmth blog is entirely the truth. It’s actually the interesting part of my eldest brother and my dad, as while my eldest brother is of Russian origin and my dad is of Ukrainian origin, they are extremely alike. While each of us is adopted, except for our baby siblings, my eldest brother Vladislav and my dad could literally be mistaken for biological father and child due to their extremely similar personality and behavior.

And I will repeat myself, why am I sharing this? Because it is needed for the truth behind the fakers.

The thing about the fakers is that they tend to be overly negative, trying to gather sympathy, and even money at times. However, autism isn’t all bad. It’s just not sunshine and rainbows all the time either.

When it comes to the faking of autism, the same applies as to any condition; it brings only negativity. It needs to end. Making excuses like getting a formal diagnosis takes too much time or is too expensive doesn’t make sense. Everything in life takes time, and anything worth your time costs money. A proper diagnosis is worth the time. I could get into the specifics, like the fact that you could easily misdiagnose yourself with autism while you have conditions like schizophrenia and OCD, but I don’t think that is up to me to do. That’s up to psychologists and other doctors.

But as someone who is actually on the spectrum, what I wish to bring forward is that the chances are high that you are not correct about your self-diagnosis. And in case you are wrong, all you are spreading is misinformation. It affects us who are actually autistic. And if you truly cared about autistic people, which you would say by claiming to be autistic, this is something you should wish to prevent.

I know I probably won’t be heard, and I might even be disliked for sharing this. But this is my blog, my opinion. Thank you for reading.