Timeless haze

Mornings taste like stale air and missed opportunities
(Adults say “Youth is wasted on the young!”
I wonder if they remember how heavy it feels)

Attend class.
    Skip class.
        Contemplate the point of it all.
            Realize you've been staring at your desk for half the lesson.

Emeryk, the silent observer
A shadow in a world of noise

Pills rattle in your school bag
like tiny maracas playing a tune only you can hear

           Message: "Where are you? We're all hanging out"
           ...
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           Seen 16:23

Textbooks become pillows for weary minds
Each page a mountain of incomprehensible symbols

Sometimes you think you can hear your childhood
echoing from a distant playground

                      "Emeryk?"
                                 ...
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The school counselor says “It’s just a phase”
But your brain is a faulty computer –
endless loading screens and error messages and no way to reboot

You scribble dark poetry in the margins of math worksheets
(while your gym clothes mold in your locker)

Classmates whisper about your constant frown
They don’t know smiling takes energy you don’t have

What if melancholy is just the growing pains
of a soul too big for its body?

01:00 and you’re staring at the ceiling
counting cracks instead of sheep
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 Does anyone else feel like they're drowning in air everyone else breathes easily?